I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have feelings that need drinking.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
