just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
