i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
