we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
