so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
