you guys were way drunker than both of me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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