was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize