I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Are my feet made of real feet?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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