Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
