Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize