I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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