No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
