I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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