Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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