Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
