I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
