His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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