girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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