Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
