I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
