Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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