I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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