im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
