Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
