I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
