I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we made out on top of his cat.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
