that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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