She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
