i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize