end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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