I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
