they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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