Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
