very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
