i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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