sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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