CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
