I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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