She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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