I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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