Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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