Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
