Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize