when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
