is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
