I cockslap morals
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize