there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
