these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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