You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
