It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
