am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
