Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
