I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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