Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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