I am in a vortex of obligation.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
