I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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