But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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