I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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