Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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