Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
