remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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