A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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