i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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