The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I supernannyed him into submission
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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