My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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